Thursday, January 22, 2004 :::
 

Do you want to know what I love? Ear wax.. no honestly. It's facinating... we have holes in our heads that generate wax. It's absolutly disgusting, but as well amazing. Sorry.. I was just cleaning my ears out.

Onto more inportant news. i know I havn't written anything in months.. not that anyone's reading it. but I guess I want to talk now. Just for a momment. The world is either entirely good, or entirely bad. You may argue that there's good things in life and some not so good things, but no, in the end you are either pesimistic or optomistic. I find myself caught between the two. I believe the world is a horrible place, for all the times it's let me down, for all the hatred i've felt. People that are no longer in my life, people that I fear loosing; the ultimate statment that I am still alone fighting by myself to become 'normal' and 'happy'. but I know to myself that I will find what I'm looking for, and if I don't, i'll ultimatly just kill myself and take as many souls as I can with me (prefrably those who wish to join me, not the happy people). I don't know why i'm writing this. I'm not miserible, i'm just not happy... and I want to be unnaturally happy all the time. I wish I was as dimwhitted and spontanious, and carefree as some people think I am. or maybe people get it.

IN OTHER BREAKING NEWS... my friend Shuo tried to by me a vibrator last night.. it was 84 dollars, for apparently, the worlds best in vibrating adult toys. Can't say I wasn't intrested, but how do you descretly hide an 84 dollar amusment ride entitled "The Bunny"?

Quote of the day:
Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind

::: posted by Becky at 12:18 PM
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Wednesday, November 12, 2003 :::
 

Very rarely does a band come along that I can enjoy on many levels. Most are good to listen too but have no lyrical value and some have good messages but make me want to fall alseep (anything in the folk, regge, I suck music genre). And being as I'm not a big punk rock fan I guess I just never bothred to listen to that as well, but recently I have been eating my views on punk rock. Although you still have yet to see me in anything spiked or reading 'bush is the true enemy', or anything like bright green or something, i'm throughly enjoying punk rock; or more spacificly the RX Bandits. I've hear alot more I've liked but these guys are the only one's i've really attached to. They're fucking amazing. Matt Embree the lead singer has the most amazing voice i've ever heard. And it's not like they're singing about problems of 13's and whining about people selling out, they're moving people to realize how trapped we are by the world we've created. I'd marry his vocal cords if I could. Download the song "Overecome" if you wish.. or "Prophetic".. because they're probably two of my favorities. If you don't like them, then.. well you probably dont' like punk rock.. but if you want to give it a try you have to listen to the whole song because they change melodic qualitites about 3 times over every song.
Besides that I got a parking ticket, don't have a job, and want to shoot someone :)

::: posted by Becky at 2:04 PM
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Sunday, November 02, 2003 :::
 

Well I hope everyone had a good weekend. I did. I spent last night at Chili's (due to the fact that Chi-Chi's has been shut down.. I cried.) with my friends Alaina, and two of my coworkers Lauren and Steven. We had a lovely dinner and afterwards me, Alaina and Steven watched episodes of the family guy until I couldn't laugh anymore... that is the worlds funniest show.
I normally don't write personal things (well super personal) things on this web sight.. but why not. I'm doing something new right? recently one of my friends has decided that we're not friends anymore. Since i've gone gone to school it's harder to see eachother and we're at very differnt points in our lives, but does that make us not friends? Apparently hanging out with me just isn't good enough. I'm not a club or something flashy to make it seem like i'm the all american good time. I think it's really crappy that because I'm sick (which makes me not as much fun and makes me feel gross :) ) i'm suddenly a sack of shit who doens't deserved to be cared about. You're right, i'm not in the mood to do much of anything, and i'm not there every day... but what the hell. I still care about you, and I still am there for you ever fucking second you need me. I've been patient though all of your moods, and all of your complaining, just to be left out in the cold and then told that I'm not a good friend. I think this is insane. I hope you had fun last night.. I hope you hooked up with everyone and felt like you did something with your night, because apparently everyother night has been a horrible continuation of some horrible nightmare. You're right, you suck because you don't go out every night and because you dont' have 4 billion friends. I hope you get all the friends you want, and I hope you go out all the time and have tons of fun, becaue I won't be there. The one person who always has been there for you for the past two years does deserve to be fucked over and told that they hold no more place in someone's life. Thank you, i'm glad i've been put in my place. For a second I was under the dillusion that I deserved something, but I was so misguided. Have a wondeful new life. Good luck with you job, i'm going to sit and rot 3 miles away from you because you can't drive in the city and even if I spent a hundred of dollars to take the train out to you, you'll still whine that you have to wake up to take me back to the train station.
Happy halloween

::: posted by Becky at 7:31 PM
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Thursday, October 02, 2003 :::
 

I would like to post something I find ever so disturbing. I've noticed that a lot of people look at my sight from a search on 'anorexia' and I think that's funny because i'm super not anorexic, however just for fun, I looked up anorexics on google and came to a horrible page. It's www.anorexicbeauty.com and it's a page devoted to the beauty and social rights of anorexics to be the way they are. You're starving yourself!!! it's not a 'right' it's a disorder. I really think someone needs to shove some food down this girls mouth so she stops hillucinating.
I've noticed the quality of internet entertainment going down quite significantly in the past few months, and i'd like to say that I need to start blogging more to make up for this lack of material on something entertaining that i've been seeing.
I need to go eat, i'll write later.
peace love and anorexic pride!

::: posted by Becky at 5:54 PM
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Monday, September 22, 2003 :::
 

Well I see alot has changed since last I blogged... new format.. bearly recognize that what i'm typing will in fact end up on my page (not that anyone ever looks at it anymore).

I've now entered college... a month since i've moved in and still i'm perpetually bored. I spend most of my time sleeping or eating (ahh the freshman 15, how cliche but inevitable). I've gotten more piercings, nose, belly button, lip, nape (back of neck)... i'm your regular old freak now, or so to say. My reason for writing is indirectly to aviod writing a paper, and more directly to have an outlet or atleast something to do on my evenings.

I worked out tonight :::gasp, horred faces::: yes, I did pilates. I havn't managed to do more than chain smoke recently, and today I made it all the way to work out land. I saddly inform all of you that I have yet to even get drunk, do to my lack of drinking alcohol i'd say that's a pretty direct result.

I'm obsessed with my AFI cd. whome i'm sure most of you have heard of since they seemed to get popular overnight, and i'd definetly recomend you get their latest cd.

While checking out my refecltion in the mirror tonight i realized how hideous I was. Not my face, but more my horribly body. i'm sorry to all those i've offended by being less than perfect; or more incredibly far from it.

That's all my talking for the night... peace out from philly

::: posted by Becky at 10:21 PM
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